Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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