Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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