i wish my penis had a tongue
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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