Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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