I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
