he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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