I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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