i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
