Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
