I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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