You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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