After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
