I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
