im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
