I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
