I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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