Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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