I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
