Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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