she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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