i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
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