I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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