I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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