Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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