even my farts smell like vagina
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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