If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
