marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm passing your future prison.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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