Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize