Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
