we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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