Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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