My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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