I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
