Nicole vs. Life
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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