Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
