pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
