Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize