member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Still dying that you shit outside
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
