You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
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He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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