so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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