Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
