he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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