I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
