also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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