I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
