It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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