Well apparently he's into motor boating.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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