I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
meet me or not, i'm out of control
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm like, not good at living.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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