My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
