I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
