fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize