Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
