Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
