with your own penis?
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
