She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
