I seem to have left my pride at pride
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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