Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
