I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize