my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
