Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
