At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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